Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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