You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We need to feng shui this bitch.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
