FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
organizing the empties. That sober.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
