Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
