i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
