it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
