just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
