So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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