so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
