I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
