I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm like, not good at living.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
