We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
