I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
