My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
