Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
