I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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