Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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