Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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