yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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