I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
