he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
