I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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