we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize