My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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