"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
