I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
