I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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