So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
