I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
