I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
