just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
