If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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