I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
