He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
