she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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