Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
