Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
