I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
