I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
