i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
