Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
