If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
