you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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