What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
