I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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