yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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