I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
