How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
