I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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