I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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