Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
