It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
