Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
