There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
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