kristin has been a bad kristin
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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