well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
