he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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