The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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