I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
