Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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