if only i could text you this smell
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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