Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
