Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
