I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
