This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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