i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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